THE "F" Word

So as of January 31st Parker has been sick. It started out as a fever with vomitting. We were staying at a hotel for the night after the Autism Rocks Benefit. During the benefit he got alittle antsy for the babysitter and started to have a meltdown. So she took him to the hotel to calm down abit and maybe rest. Not my son he wanted to watch cartoons. So after awhile he felt alittle better to come back to the benefit. Well, that night was the start of this damn virus. We had to go get him some childrens advil for his fever. I did notice he was holding his throat. For a kid on the spectrum that has no communication skills he can't tell me where it hurts. A couple days went by and he was still so lifeless laying there in his bed so we called the doctors. They diagnosed him with flu like symptoms but didn't want to call it the flu. Well what the hell would you call it then? ( We did get him his flu shots this year!) So we kept him home 48 hours from school just to be safe. Each day is different one day he is great the next he is back feeeling like poop again. Seems like when we give him his advil his meanness and fever goes down and he starts feeeling better. But once it wears off watch out! I don't want to keep having to dope my child up to make him feel good. Especaiily when he hates taking the medication. Now for mommy hey throws it back up but daddy can get him to take the liquid and keep it down. His symptoms are coughing, runny nose, soar throat,fever,constipation and lack of appetite. Now in the mean time mommy starrts to get sick. Different symptoms though. Mommy thinks hers was sinuses for she didn't have vomitting or fever.  I am on day 19 of this crap. Ok now daddy is feeling bad and vomitting and has diarrhea. Something has to be going around that all 3 of us have this crap.

That day in the hospital

It all started on March 2nd, 2005. Parker was  due to visit Feb. 28th so I guess you can say the turkey was done. Actually, he was a little underdone. They told me I was having a 7 lb. baby when he was only 5.12  lbs.  I  had a doctors appointment at noon that day to check to see if my cervix was opening at all. At that point my water hadn't even broke yet. I did feel contractions but I was worried that they might be Braxton Hicks.  So about 9 am I felt the contractions coming a little harder so I decided to call the doctor and he told me to goto the hospital. On our way to the hospital we had to stop for gas, really? Who would of thought knowing your due anytime to keep a full tank of gas just in case. While Daves pumping gas , I'm screaming from pain, I knew this baby was coming. So I tried to do the whole find your focal point lamaze crap. That wasn't for me....so I decided to do what I knew best....dog names. So here I am screaming over and over types of dogs names and I'm sure to guy pumping gas next to us is wondering what the hell is going on. So off to the hospital ,which is about 20 miles away praying I don't have this kid on the highway in a snow storm. Poor Dave, I'm screaming at him to hurry and telling him to speed and I'll pay the speeding ticket if we get pulled over. So we finally get to the hospital and they wheel me in through the front lobby where everyone stares at the pregnant woman about to give birth. We get back to the room and they hook me up to the monitors and we see the baby is stressing. At this point my water hasn't broke or my cervix still has not opened. He is stressing to the point he has a bowel movement inside me which results in a meconium baby.  So with him stressing and his heartbeats not going up or down with medication given they decide its time for a C-Section. I also had preclampsia. So they roll me into the operating room, hook me up give me not 1 but 2(spinal block) epidurals for the first one didn't kick in. Now personally I think the epidurals hurt more than labor pains. So here we go lets have a baby! Funny story while they are operating on me i'm still saying over and over again beagles, dalmatians, rottweilers, etc. and I hear the doctor ask Dave what is she talking about....lol  I scream this is my focal point! Another funny story about the operation is the doctors named their tools girls names so they know all tools that go in must come back out. I hear Kelly and I said"yes" he laughed. So after 2 hours of labor I don't hear a cry. I wonder while doped up why I didn't hear my boy cry. There is a reason for that. They didn't want him to cry for he swallowed some of the meconium in his lungs which could be fatal. So they rushed him off to another room to put him under an oxygen tank to help him breathe. So they kicked Dave out of the operation room while they stapled me up, so he went to check on Parker. He was so little and fragile that he couldn't hold him yet. It wouldn't be till 4 days later that we are still in the hospital that daddy can hold him now. I was alittle upset and depressed that since I was still hooked up to my monitors (due to blood pressure problems)  I couldn't see my son till  4 days later. They wouldn't even bring him to see me for he was still fragile and on oxygen. So when I finally got to meet my son for the 1st time I was happy to be with him but feeling sad for another family in the room with their child. I knew it wasn't good when they were talking about moving their kid to Childrens downtown and that there was a priest in the room. So I felt sad that here I am enjoying my newborn son and they were holding on for dear life for theirs. Day 4 was better he got to come and stay with me in my room. I layed in bed with him feeling this was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I didn't want him to leave my bed!
Well throughout my stay at Mercy Fairfield the nurses were nice to me knowing I was a 1st time mother showing how to do things right. I was a little perturbed that I had to move to 3 different rooms for I was there so long. Not to mention we got no help moving to each of the rooms.We moved our own luggage to each room. Day 5  got better though. I was still hooked up on my machines for blood pressure problems so I really couldn't go anywhere. At this point I was ready for a real bath not a sponge bath that these nurses give you. Day 7 was a funny day. This was Dave's birthday. He had to leave me in the hospital to go get his plates renewed so we could leave the hospital but the nurses told him that he can't leave me alone so we had to find someone that could stay with me and the baby. My family is in NY, Dave's family was out of town, and my friends were out of town too. There is a tv in the room but no remote so I had to watch what ever was on the one station that played. As Dave was leaving to get his plates renewed the fire alarms go off. I'm thinking damn Dave what did you do now. Well what it was was a real fire 2 windows over from me. So I panicked for nobody was evacuating the hospital. The nurses said it was no big deal, someone got caught smoking in their room. Ok heartache, at least I'm in the right place if that happens! So Dave makes it back to the hospital and we are cleared to check out, then the bitch(Linda Collins-Butler County child services) comes in wanting me to sign papers stating since I was still legally married to my ex husband Matt I have to put him as the father of the baby. Also she crossed out all Davids information that  I put down as father of the child and she also crossed out that I stated I didn't want a SS# for my son. Now why would I not want a ss# for my son. She lied! Which in Parkers first year of his life made it hard for me to get insurance coverage for supposedly having an illegal alien. So i didn't sign her papers, I left the fathers name off the birth certificate and told her she will hear from my lawyer. She tried her hardest to get me to sign those papers to the point my blood pressure shot up again and here we go all over again. So her stressing me out and making my blood pressure go sky high they wouldn't release me from the hospital. So here I am stuck again in a hospital room that I am paying for by day because of this cunt.( I don't use the word to often but she deserves it for what she did to me) So by the end of the day I get my blood pressure under control and once again they release me to go home.


Parker David Kahle came into this crazy world!
March 2nd, 2005 at 11:09am
5 lbs 12 ounces and 18 in long

Walk now for Autism

2011 Cincinnati
Walk Now for Autism Speaks
Saturday, May 21, 2011

Mark your calendars! Our 2011 Kick Off has been scheduled for Saturday, February 26th at Springdale 18: Cinema De Lux. The event will feature:

Fundraising Fair 9:30am-10:30am
Presentation 10:00am-10:30am
Showing of HBO's Temple Grandin 10:30am-12:00pm
Fundraising Fair Re-Opens 12:00pm-12:30pm

Parkers Parade will be marching again this year at Coney Island to raise Awareness for Autism. This will be our 4th year marching. Each year it gets bigger and bigger so that tells me the number of children being diagnosed on the spectrum is on the rise. We have set up a donation page if anyone would like to donate goto:

https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=443166&supId=212492147


or join our team and walk for autism awareness!!

 So I decided to start a little journal about living life with autism. As many of you know I have a 5 yr old son named Parker who is on the autism spectrum. His actually diagnose is PDD-NOS with sensory integration. He was diagnosed at 2 yrs old but mommy and daddy knew something was up earlier than that. Even mommy's friends who were afraid to say anything to her noticed Parker was "different". How we first noticed he was "different" as a child he would spin things for hours, line up objects, flapping of the hands, lost in space, no eye contact, no speech ,no sense of fear, sudden outbursts of cries and meltdowns, sudden giggling for no reason. The list could go on forever! Each autistic child perceives their world differently. So what did we do? We took Parker to his pediatrician and asked him(Dr.T) what he thought. He said to us within in 5 minutes of meeting Parker"I don't doubt that he is on the spectrum but lets get him tested at Cincinnati Children's to be sure." So off to Children's we go.......So our first appointment with children's we actually got in there( is always a long waiting list for kids to be tested for anything) ,but David had a family member that helped us by passing the wait. So they put us in this room and made us wait, which anyone with an autistic child knows they don't have alot of patience, then at least 5 doctors or therapist come in the room to test Parker. They do a series of tests to see what his skills are at this age level. Of course he scored low. So their recommendation was occupational therapy and speech therapy. So we signed on board for some help knowing we couldn't do this alone. So the first thing was signed up for with Children's was occupational therapy. In occupational therapy the child learns to trust therapists and get used to them. He also learns how to use his senses(touch,hear,speak,taste,seeing). Well the one thing I love about Parker is he is a very affectionate kid. Alot of autistic kids don't like to be touched or don't show emotion. NOT my son....he loves hugs! As for speech there was none at this time and he didn't even want to try and work on it at this time. Seeing got better, we now have full eye contact from him even though he plays games like "you can't see me ,I can't see you"...lol As for taste that's a whole another chapter of his life. Parker doesn't eat table food. Everything he eats which isn't much has to blended in a blender and put into a baby bottle and he will drink it that way. Now he does get more nutrients then most 5 yr olds for he loves his veggies and meats but it all has to be blended to liquid so it may pass with no problems down his throat. Now we though this was a little strange a kid didn't want to put food in his mouth. Actually he didn't put anything in his mouth which was great. We never had to worry about him putting things from the floor in his mouth. He never had the sensation to. So we asked Children's have they ever seen this. The told us yes and that we should get tested to see if it was a physical issue with his mouth. So back in the car and off to Children's again. This time to do a video swallow to see what he is doing on an xray with his food in his mouth. So we had to force feed him with a spoon which he hates and watch the food on a monitor to see what happens. He eventually swallowed it but the doctors did note that he does keep food in his mouth longer than it should. Maybe the fear of swallowing scares him? He also gets hiccups alot and really bad. Maybe keeping air to long in there too? So that's where speech therapy comes in next.  So back in the car off the speech therapy at Children's. Speech therapy at Children's in my opinion was a waste of time for us. Now I'm not saying that for all kids just mine. During speech ,OT therapist and speech therapist decided that they would work together with Parker considering my insurance at work only covers 20 days a year for OT. My insurance company doesn't even cover speech so this was a way for us to bypass and get some relief on the bills. At $200/hr I can see why the divorce rate and debt is so high in couples that have kids on the spectrum. It is alot of stress on us as a couple but somehow we managed to make it work for the little guy. Someone once said to me that god only gives us what we can handle. And I truly belief that god gave me this special little boy for a reason whether it be to slow me down in life,teach me a lesson or fill a void, he's here and I wouldn't  trade him for the world! Ok enough rambling on, back to therapy class at Children's....we would get Parker used to swings which he loved. He also loved jumping  on the trampoline. Other things that we worked on in therapy was dealing with his sensory integration. For instance, he didn't like touching certain textures. We would work on that by putting different things in front of him like toys,  food, snacks, pudding, playdoh, sand, beans,water. Eventually he did touch somethings but by then my 20 days of coverage was over. As for speech during therapy they tried to get him to use the PECS system. What that is, is pictures of objects on cards and he would have to hand me the card of the thing that he wanted.....HAHHAHA He didn't want to do that either. He would throw the cards all over the floor. So they suggested maybe sign language but both daddy and I agreed that we didn't want to go that route for I didn't want Parker to use that as a crutch. If he was ever going to talk I didn't want him to use sign language as the crutch. So we as parents decided to let him learn some speech through educational cartoons like Word World. One thing Parker really likes is his tv so we figured we can teach him things through television. Most parents and doctors probably would have a stroke on how much tv he watches but he has learned alot from the tv. Plus we don't allow him to watch just anything. Funny thing about his sensory integration, certain tv shows or cartoons set him off to a meltdown. For instance, Mickey Mouse. He can watch mickey with the volume off but if he hears the hot dog song or hears a song that he knows the cartoon is ending then he has a meltdown. We thought it had to do something with the volume being to high but then he loves to turn the volume all the way up on some cartoons especially if the cartoon has a song or jingle playing. We used to laugh at the George Lopez show for he would turn Low Rider up as high as he can get  it. I always wondered if the neighbors could hear our household and what they thought. Other things we worked on was puzzles for hand/eye coordination. He mastered them completely! We also worked on touching things more and more. We worked on pretend play like driving the cars into the garage. He LOVES Thomas the train. For Christmas this year he got mostly Thomas the train items plus thanks to ANDY he got Thomas the train trains and tracks which he as we speak has setup all over the living room. As he plays with his toys he also wants to watch the cartoon so we pop in the cd Thomas and you want to see the biggest smile on a childs face! Other things we worked on is the trampoline.We now have one in our house and he loves to jump really high on it. He even likes to do tricks on it too. Funny story about jumping.....When he was a baby we went through 2 crib mattresses for he jumped so much he went through the mattresses. He also jumped one time right out of the crib on us. Sometimes he will jump for hours and at odd times of the day/night. I remember waking up about 2am one night and there he is jumping away.